Friday, October 7, 2011

Imprisoned!

She was studying abroad.  In the prime of her life.  Amanda was enjoying her life in Italy. She was exploring a new world, new friends, new foods. She was at the top of her game and I have no doubt, her mind and soul were souring with the sights, sounds, and tastes of Italy. She was free. So carefree!

It happened so suddenly.  She wasn't prepared for it, she wasn't expecting it and for sure she did not know that it would make her a prisoner.  One innocent day she was taken.  It came for her. From no where she was put behind bars.  Put into a world that was so foreign to her. Put into a world where she barely spoke or understood the language. Thrown into a cold, dark and often very painful and very lonely place that would haunt her for the rest of her life. 

Every day she woke not knowing what to expect.  Would she brought in for interrogation? Would she ever again be able to run, walk, talk, or even breathe like she had done before? Would she ever be able to hug her family without those bars between them? Would she ever be able to return to her previous life? Would she ever be able to be the Amanda Knox before all of this?

At first people didn't believe her. They whispered, pointed and murmured her guilt.  Why should they believe her?  The evidence pointed against her. The evidence was factual.  The evidence on TV stipulated the truth.  One after another each broadcaster spewed the "facts".  Of course TV is factual…right?

Amanda withdrew.  She stayed within those prison bars looking out into the world.  Often one could see the pain in her eyes.  One could often see the worry on her brow.  But the public world had given up on her.  She deserved her sentence. She must have done something wrong to deserve this. Or could it be that she was lying?  And besides, there are laws governing such things as this. There are professionals that know what to do about this.  They will help her…surely they will.

For four years she endured. For four years, for 1,460 days, 35,040 hours, and 2,102,400 minutes she endured. It certainly felt like 1000 lifetimes to Amanda. She felt every second of her imprisonment. She longed for her freedom. She gathered her wits, patience, and hope and began her fight.

Few at first believed her. I have no doubt she wrote and called to anyone that would listen. She pleaded for help.  She pleaded to find that one professional that could lift her up from her imprisonment and put her back onto the road of freedom…her life she once knew.  She was blessed. She found her savior out there, somewhere.  They rallied the forces, they gathered the proof.  They redid all the tests. And they redid them again. The facts started to emerge. The light began to slowly ebb onto the walls of Amanda's cell.  But should she dare be too confident?  Should she dare hope against hope that she would ever be free?

Hope was mostly what Amanda had. Hope is what helped her get through her ordeal. Hope was the food, the very nourishment that fed Amanda's soul each and every day of her imprisonment.  She believed that one day she would be free.  She knew she was innocent and didn't deserve this. She knew and she hoped and she never, ever gave up on hope.

Amanda is free today! She is back home among those that love and care for her. She is now able to hug her family and friends without the prison bars between them.  But she still has that threat hanging over her head.  The threat that she could possible once again be imprisoned in a foreign country, in a foreign place.  A place she never ever asked to be imprisoned in, a place she never believed would have turned on her, a place she could only hope and pray would one day set her free.

Does this story sound at all familiar to you?  Read it again…

You were living your life.  In the prime of your life.  You were enjoying your life.  You were working, enjoying your friends, and possibly raising a family.  You were at the top of your game and I have no doubt, your mind and soul were souring with the sites, sounds, and tastes of life. You were free. So carefree!

It happened so suddenly.  You weren't prepared for it, you weren't  expecting it and for sure you did not know that it would make you a prisoner.  One innocent day you were taken.  It came for you. From no where you were put behind bars.  Put into a world that was so foreign to you. Put into a world where you barely spoke or understood the language. Thrown into a cold, dark and often very painful and very lonely place that would haunt you for the rest of your life. 

Every day you woke not knowing what to expect.  Would you wake in excruciating pain…be brought in for more torture? Would you ever again be able to run, walk, talk, or even breath like you had done before? Would you ever be able to hug your family without those bars between you? Would you ever be able to return to your previous life? Would you ever be able to be you again, like before all of this?

At first people didn't believe you. They whispered, pointed and murmured your ridicule.  Why should they believe you?  The evidence pointed against you (all tests were negative). The evidence was factual.  The evidence on TV commercials stipulated the truth.  One after another each broadcaster spewed the "facts".  Of course TV is factual…right?


For years you endured. For years, thousands  of days, tens of thousands of hours, and millions of  minutes you endured. It certainly felt like 1000 lifetimes to you. You felt every second of your imprisonment. You longed for your freedom. You gathered your wits, patience, and hope and began your fight.

Few at first believed you. I have no doubt you called and called to anyone that would listen. You pleaded for help.  You pleaded to find that one professional that could lift you up from your imprisonment and put you back onto the road of freedom…your life you once knew.  You were blessed. You found your savior out there, somewhere.  They rallied the forces, they gathered the proof.  They redid all the tests. And they redid them again. The facts started to emerge. The light began to slowly ebb onto the walls of your cell.  But should you dare be too confident?  Should you dare hope against hope that you would ever be free?

Hope is mostly what you have. Hope is what will help you get through your ordeal. Hope is the food, the very nourishment that will feed your  soul each and every day of your imprisonment.  Believe that one day you will be free.  Know that you are innocent and that you don't deserve this…you did nothing wrong.  Know and hope and never, ever give up on hope.

Please believe that one day we will all go free from ra! 






Picture credits:
Amanda 1: Amanda Knox (myspace)
Amanda crying: Getty Images
Amanda behind bars: NY Times

6 comments:

Tammy @ The Stitching Coop said...

I 100% believed her to be innocent. I 100% can tell you my life is drastically different than anything I envisioned for myself or my family. I have to believe another generation will not suffer as we do. I have to believe there will be a cure if not better medicine.

Beautiful post.
Hugs
Tammy

Deb aka murphthesurf said...

Tammy...I am not sure why her plight made me draw this comparison but it did. I am glad she is home. I also wish that as much publicity as her case received, our case could receive. If for just one day ra could take center media stage like the Amanda Knox case or any famous case for that matter, perhaps also would the research which could maybe bring a cure. I would love for the key to be discovered to unlock all the ra prisons.

tharr said...

Terrific analogy Deb. I, like Tammy, believed her to be innocent all along. Even her life will never be the same, I'm just glad she is back home. I had so many plans before my life was hijacked by RA. Now for the most part I live one day at a time and am thankful for what I still am able to do.

Deb aka murphthesurf said...

Tharr...I can so understand about that hijacked part :-) And I know how you strive to live every singe day of you life...your blog reflects this which I so enjoy :-)

Theresa said...

Wonderful post!
I felt much more a prisoner to my diseases the first year or so. I think that as time goes, letting go of what was or what I long for, and living to the fullest in the now (acceptance) has been what has brought me true freedom. Tharr - I just met you via this string of comments. And after looking at your blog... I see that very freedom in your writing. Living life despite your illness.
Just wonderful - thank you all!!

Deb aka murphthesurf said...

Theresa...I truly believe that for those that have found some form of relief from ra, they achieve some form of "freedom" but for those that do not receive relief either through traditional or nontraditional treatments and/or pain meds, they still feel imprisoned. Imprisoned can be both a physical imprisonment with the stiffness and pain and also a mental one. I dream every single day of a medical breakthrough that would cure ra and truly set us all free forever. I can so understand the acceptance part of this disease and I soooo agree with you that to really achieve the ultimate freedom, one must let go and live fully....ra and all.