Tuesday, August 16, 2011

At The Crossroads

I have been on my ra journey now for thirteen years. I have traveled it long and fought hard over this often bumpy and lonely road.  When I was first thrust onto this path I followed the traditional traveled course, one filled with dmrads, anti-inflammatory medications, and pain killers.  I journeyed that way for over 8 years until I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Of course Murphy's law would be my dancing partner during this medical tango and I was diagnosed not with just one but two types of thyroid cancers.  I stopped the tnfs immediately as one of their possible side effects listed is cancer.  

Did I want to play at the roulette table? No that game wasn't for me. I have lost not one but two relatives to cancers and I never favored the Las Vegas life style…gambling just isn't in my genes.

So for five years I have slowly meandered on my chosen ra course, taking time to reevaluate my decisions through research, conversation, and empowerment.  I am once again questioning which way to go.  Should I throw the dice and take the gamble of dmrads once again to quite this fire breathing monster that lurks in the waters and never gives me peace anymore?

Or should I continue on in blind faith with the nontraditional path I have chosen to primarily treat my ra? Choices, choices, choices. It is all about choices.  But how am I to know what is right or wrong? In fact, how is any person be it a professional doctor or a layman to really know.  We are all playing this game of roulette…spin the wheel, wait for your number and hope that you win.  Hope against hope that you aren't one of the side effects listed in the black box warnings.

I am once again standing at the crossroads in my mind, in my heart, and in my faith about all types of ra treatments.

What am I to do?

Further Reading on ABC's of RA: It's a Question of Trust